Commentary By: Aaliyah Collins, Follow South Jersey Community Journalist
Having two kids at a young age changed just about everything. My appearance, my mindset, my circle of friends, and my shirt size. For a while, these changes were extremely overwhelming and put me into a deep depression as I mourned the old me.
Everyday item became difficult to use, like having a phone with no one to talk to or a mirror with nothing that you want to look at.
I once was a girl who always had her nails done, spoiled herself with perfumes and jewelry, and often shopped for new clothes because that’s what contributed to her happiness.
After having kids, I got into the habit of just throwing on the first outfit I saw, whether it matched or not. I lost interest in hanging out with friends because I was stuck in “mommy mode.” While in mommy mode, my entire day was dedicated to caring for my children and I had no energy for anything else.
Needless to say, I missed the girl I was before.
After months of feeling a mixture of loneliness, sadness, and tiredness, it was time to convince my mind into seeing it all as an opportunity to reinvent myself.
I needed to fall in love with myself again.
How could I expect anyone to admire me, if I couldn’t find anything admirable about myself?
How could I expect a friend to understand me, when I couldn’t understand my own thoughts and actions?
How could I expect someone to enjoy my company, when I couldn’t enjoy my alone time?
I knew it was time for change, when my ways started to affect those around me. I needed to start loving the woman standing in the mirror again and that started with reinventing her.
People who go through a significant change often spend a lot of time trying to get back to their previous lifestyles whether it’s a hair texture, body shape, style of fashion, personality trait, or clear skin. However, going back to old ways can be difficult. Especially when it’s impossible to do so. It can be more beneficial to dedicate this time to becoming a new and better version of yourself. Reflect on the past and move forward.
Throughout this journey, it’s important to invest time, energy, and money in yourself. Treating yourself with something new every once in a while is always a nice feeling. Some examples of this can be:
- A few outfits
- A new video game
- Some jewelry
- Getting your hair done/cut
- Getting a tattoo or piercing
- Book a spa day/massage/facial
- Trying some new makeup
- Getting some new furniture
- Buying a new blanket or candle
At the same time, materialistic things aren’t completely necessary for a fresh start. Practicing better habits is also worth focusing on. In particular, some common activities that people can usually improve on are sleeping, eating, exercising, or reading.
Maybe this new version of yourself loves to go hiking and connect with nature. You might even find that you enjoy finishing the day with a nice book. Or perhaps, you’d like to include more greens into your daily diet. There is always room for improvement in life!
Needless to say, you should never be afraid of saying goodbye to the old you, there is a reason that it’s in the past. You never know the lengths that your new self can reach!
- What’s Good in South Jersey? Chris the Barber
- Stockton Hosts Annual Lines on the Pines Event
- Rowan University Virtua Health Opens Research Center
Follow South Jersey provides local journalism which highlights our diverse communities; fosters transparency through robust, localized, and vital reporting that holds leaders and institutions accountable; addresses critical information needs; supports people in navigating civic life; and equips people with the information necessary to partake in effective community engagement. If there is a story or event you think we should cover, please send your tips to news@followsouthjersey.com with “NEWS” in the subject line.
