By: Dean P. Johnson, Follow South Jersey Editor-In-Chief
Many experts believe that to avoid utter chaos, societies need to create norms to have order. In order to maintain that order, rules must be established, followed, and enforced.
In today’s political environment where compromise has become a word more associated with weakness than unity, rules seem to become relevant to whom or for whom they benefit best or whoever holds the most power at any given time.
To help understand this on the microcosmic level, all we need to do is to observe our own homes.
On day years ago, when my youngest son was five, while sitting in the living room watching TV, he was hit by a sudden urge to leap off the chair and dash up the stairs.
A few minutes later he returned to find his seven-year-old brother sitting in his spot.
“Hey, I was sitting there,” he exclaimed, wherein his brother cited one of the house rules: Get on your feet, you lose your seat.
The five-year-old shook his head vehemently. “It doesn’t count. I had to go to the bathroom.” The seven-year-old simply laughed and explained that rules were rules and that there were no exceptions.
A great debate of Scopes proportion ensued. There were certain unavoidable reasons why one must at various times vacate a location albeit temporarily while maintaining ownership of said spot, the five-year-old orated.
A society that does not abide by steadfast rules is libel to collapse in anarchy, the seven-year-old retorted.
Rules must be adaptable to changing conditions. This is why the United States Supreme Court must interpret laws in the context of its time, the five-year-old surmised.
I stand by my contention that once you begin placing conditions upon rules, they cease to be effective, the seven-year-old concluded.
Well, I’m sure at least that’s what they meant to say.
It sounded more like: “GET OUT OF MY SEAT!” “Get on your feet, you lose your seat.” “I WAS SITTING THERE!” “Get on your feet, you lose your seat.” “GET UP!” “Get on your feet, you lose your seat.”
Aroused by the screaming, my sixteen-year-old son trampled down the steps. He’ll tell them both just to be quiet, I figured. I mean, what sixteen-year-old likes to hear little brothers yapping about such insipid stuff. But somehow, they sucked him right into the argument. It seems he sided with the seven-year-old, citing such precedence as Dad vs. Zachary in the case of last ice cream sandwich, Dad vs. Hannah in the case of Hannah Montana or Phillies vs. Mets.
“But that’s Dad,” the seven-year-old said. “He thinks that kind of stuff is actually funny.”
Finally, my eldest son sent his little brothers into the kitchen to see me for a final ruling.
It’s usually best to stick to the rules, I told them.
You must keep in mind that these rules are nothing that has been written down, they are just byproducts of less-than-pleasant circumstances. Take for instance the “Dad don’t play the ‘smell this’ game” rule. Remember when you came home from school and insisted that I smell the lunch bag that had been in the back of your desk for half the school year? Remember how I tried to pretend to sniff it, but you were too smart for that one, weren’t you? Thus, the rule.
Then there’s the “Who sits in the front seat” statute. One time your mother told your sister and older brother not to run to the car and fight over who would sit in the front seat. Your brother, who listens as well as he cuts his toenails, darted past your sister who, being the competitive one, despite your mother’s decree, could not stop herself from chasing after him. Since they both ran, neither got to sit in the front seat.
Let’s not forget about those small miscellaneous rules: You can’t ask for more food until you’ve stopped chewing; you can’t claim “finders’ keepers” when you find something that belonged to your sister in your sister’s room; you can’t yell “Wow, come take a look at this” from behind the bathroom door.
House rules are essential to an orderly household where so many live in such close proximity, not to mention the sheer sanity of parents. You may think these rules sound a bit insensitive, but believe me, sticking to a cut and dry standard will prevent hours of senseless arguing.
In this case, when someone walks into an empty room, he or she has no way of knowing who, if anyone, is coming back even if the TV is on. So, if there is no one there to hold your spot, then there’s no arguing with the “on feet-lose seat” rule.
They shrugged their shoulders and walked out into the living room then began screaming louder than they had been before.
Apparently, big brother had taken the coveted spot.
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