By: Aaliyah Collins, Follow South Jersey Community Journalist
SOUTH JERSEY — For generations, the norm for men had been to provide the shoulder that everyone cried on. It was rarely expected of them to open up to friends, family, or significant others. Instead, they would isolate or look for other ways to ease their mind.
Starting back in 1994, the month of June has been recognized as Men’s Mental Health Month, created to raise awareness for men who don’t feel comfortable seeking help for the battles they fight alone in their head.
These silent battles can lead to drastic outcomes.
According to the National Institutes of Health, there were four times the amount of reported suicides in men than there were in women last year.
Timothy Kieffer, 49, therapist primarily focused on addiction and trauma, mentions that deteriorating mental health and addiction often go hand in hand.
“Addiction has definitely played a major role in poor mental health because it’s been a way to cope,” said Kieffer. “It’s one of those things that works until it doesn’t.”
Addiction and suicide are just some of the possibilities that can result from improper handling of mental health loads. Others can cause issues in relationships, occurrences of self-harm, and deep mental health conditions. Therefore, throughout the entire month of June, people donate their time to encourage men to feel safe enough to prioritize their mental health.
Getting help
“Men tend to bottle things up and then eventually, the cork explodes and they usually unload on people closest to them.” explains Kieffer.
People can always encourage one another to get therapy. However, according to Kieffer, it’s most effective when someone makes the decision to seek help themselves. Seeing an objective party is sometimes easier than reaching out to those in your circle. Having that person on the outside to vent to, alone, can make someone feel much better about things they hold in.
Ian Harrison-Love, 24, tried therapy for the first time at 15 years old. He was going through a rough patch with his father moving away and his mother was full of worry. She wanted him to have someone he trusted enough to confide in.
Unfortunately, this therapist left Harrison-Love feeling like he was being overly dramatic. He expected to be taught ways to cope with the pain he felt. Instead, he was told to “just be a man.”
“As a man you always have to be the strong one,” Harrison-Love said. “Never show emotion. Never show your feelings to anybody. Or you always have to have it put together because they look onto you, so that you could be the emotional support for them.”
At the age of 22, he tried therapy again. Although very hesitant at first, he now recognizes it as a key contributor to the improvement of his mental health.
Investing in self-care
Therapy is generally suggested by mental health professionals. Still, there are different ways that men can practice prioritizing their mental health.
Any pastime that can help someone escape reality or turn a frown upside down is a substantial key to a healthier mindset. It should remain a constant in one’s life unless they find a new interest.
“It’s coming up with self-care activities that they’re going to enjoy, and then making it a habit,” said Kieffer.
Now, everyone is unique and has different things that make them feel happy and comfortable. For some, it might be watching sports or a movie, exercising, or reading a book. For others, it might be going out for a drink, playing a video game, or going shopping.
The possibilities are endless.
All in all, men’s mental health month sheds a light on the commonly felt stigma among men when it comes to investing in their mental health. It’s essential that they take the right steps to do so, and the first step is learning how.
“Love yourself… that’s all you’ve got,” said Harrison-Love. “You just gotta put yourself first sometimes and be a little selfish.”
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